it's been awhile since i smile at myself. it's been awhile since i smile looking at myself in the mirror. it has been awhile since i feel proud of myself.
someone just woke me up, not from my sleep, but to realise why i should love myself.
i must say, my body has not been pampered for a long long time, it felt ancient since i last had a good massage, and being a plus-size does not help at all. i lost all confidence, insecurity creeps in everytime i take a shower, everytime i try something on, everytime i go out shopping for new cloths. i envy those people who feel comfortable with themselves, size doesn't matter, they just feel good. i just wish i have their guts.
but, of course, i have no one to blame but myself. may be i should learn to love myself more, may be i should listen to my body more, may be i should learn what it needs more, may be i should not be too worried, may be i should not bother what other people think, may be i should learn to be myself more ... all those MAY BEs are killing me, slowly, inside.
this year i hope to make a change, i want me to feel good, i want to learn to love me, i want to make me happy ... i guess it is not that difficult to do.
i'll just take one step at a time, and when it happens, i, may be, will have my smile back.
2 comments:
aduii, lama betul tak update blog.selamat menulis
ya, ada busy a bit, sampai lupa ada blog, thanks for still following
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